X-Men! Where do I start?
"Try out the tools suggested in these descriptions and see what happens. You can't do it wrong."
This is not theory or wishful thinking. What we are suggesting and offering has been used with many, many kids and is based on the results achieved in private sessions and classes. The founder of Access, Gary Douglas is practical. He only offers what he and his trained learning facilitators have found actually works in life. Has what you have been doing worked so far? What else is possible?
The following steps are a place to start having greater ease and possibility in your life and the lives of those you touch.
1. Being in allowance can start to change you and your child's life today.
What is being in allowance? Being in allowance is being in a place of no judgment. There is total allowance of all things. When you are in allowance, you are a rock in the stream. Thoughts, ideas, beliefs, attitudes and emotions come at you, and they go around you and you are still the rock in the stream. Everything is an interesting point of view. When you are in allowance, you create a sense of larger space; a feeling of peace and calm for everyone around you. It's so rare for these children to be with someone who is in allowance of who they are that they will want you to stay with them all the time. They like having you around because you don't look at them with judgment. All kinds of things become possible from this space and we would like you to recognize that this is the gift of being in allowance.
Acceptance is different from allowance. If you are in acceptance, when thoughts, ideas, beliefs and attitudes come at you and you are in the stream, you get washed away. In acceptance; you either "align and agree," which is the positive polarity, or you "resist and react," which is the negative polarity. Either way, you become part of the stream and you get washed away.
If you are in allowance of what is being said, you can say, "Well, that's an interesting point of view. I wonder if there's any truth in that?" You go into a question instead of a reaction. When you go into resistance and reaction or alignment and agreement with points of view, you create limitation and change is no longer possible.
Example of Allowance in Life:
Gary gives this example of how this shows up in everyday life.
You and your friend are walking down the street and he says to you, "I'm broke." What do you do? "Oh, you poor thing!" is alignment and agreement. "You are!" is resistance and reaction. You know he's going to hit you up for a loan. Interesting point of view is, "Really?"Does someone irritate you? He or she is not the problem. You are. As long as you have any irritation, you've got a problem. It's not about the way others respond to you. It's about your being in allowance of them. You have to be in allowance of where the other person sits in order for them to be able to change.
What would it be like if we were all; parents and care givers, able to be in total allowance with all the "strange" behavior that accompanies OCD, ADD, ADHD and Autism? What change could occur if we were willing to ask; "what else is possible?"
You don't have to align and agree and love them, nor do you have to resist and react and hate them. You simply allow and honor and respect their point of view without buying into it. Being in allowance of somebody doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. You just have to be with what is. When you're in allowance, everything becomes an interesting point of view. You do not accept it; you do not resist it. It just is. Life gets easier and easier with this tool.
Example of Allowance With Kids:
This is a demonstration of allowance in action by Jill McCormick who works with "special needs" children in Florida. She told us that she was working with a student with ADHD and the parents and teachers were trying to control his hyper-ness. Jill was doing the same thing until she realized it wasn't working and she shifted into being in allowance of where he was. She just observed him and didn't try to make him do things. He shifted hugely. When he was around her, he no longer jumped on the tables and tried to create distractions. How does it get any better than this?
When you tell kids, "You are wrong for doing this," they have to go on doing it. They have to prove that they are right by continuing to do it. But when you allow them to be who they are and see what they are providing, you open the door for them to actually give you the gift that they are. You have to learn to function from allowance, because allowance itself is the greatest gift.
2. Give up asking "How do we get him/her to be normal?"
When talking to parents who have children with Autism, the parents will often acknowledge the talents and abilities their kids have, and then ask; "Okay, so how do we get him to be normal?" or "How do we get her to fit in?" They want their children to fit into the normal reality.
Access Learning Facilitator Dr. Dain Heer says that would be like Einstein's mom saying, "Come on, Albert, just forget this Theory of Relativity you are working on. Be a little more normal. Just do regular math. Don't do that weird stuff." It's as if parents and teachers are trying to take the Einstein's of the world and turn them into regular mathematicians or bean counters. It is not possible. They don't work that way. These children function from energy, not from solidity.
3. Look up a Facilitator or Learning Facilitator in your area or invite one to your area.
(Most will travel if invited or hosted.)
-Attend an "Access: The Bars" class or experience your Bars being run at a "Bars trade night" in your area.
-Call a Facilitator or Learning Facilitator and ask more questions.
-Check out our new book "Conscious Parents, Conscious Kids."
-Check out the rest of the website. Access Consciousness tools of awareness can be applied to all areas of life. Learning Disabilities is just one area that has had amazing transformation and really different results for you and your children.