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Within a short time I was cheated by a good friend. Two of my companies were going bankrupt. Wealth quickly turned into huge debt and the tax office came knocking. My wife was asking for divorce, a debilitating medical issue struck and I found myself homeless.

My whole magnificent world crashed down around my ears. I was deeply shocked and became depressed.

Late one night, I was in a particularly dark place and decided to end it all. I would kill myself.

It was amazingly easy to plan it out. A nearby bridge, a long fall down to the frozen lake below. It would be all over in seconds. I was in the deepest, darkest moment of my life, death would be a sweet release from this hell.

When I entered my house, though. I was reminded of life and  living. My son, six years old, was sleeping peacefully in his bed. How could I desert him? I couldn't.

So I chose to turn right, instead of left to the bridge, and walked to a mental clinic. I asked them to lock me up. I didn't know what else to do.

An incredible journey of change and transformation came from that night, from that choice, though it was not obvious to me for some time. Two months at the clinic were no walk in the park. I struggled with depression, suicide and the strong drugs they gave turned me into a zombie. And then there was the diagnosis. Bipolar Disorder Type 1. Of course. What else?

My brother and sister traveled from Italy and France to see me; the family was devastated.  During one visit, my brother said he'd stumbled upon a seminar in the old town in Stockholm; it was Access Consciousness and while it wasn't for him he felt there was something there for me and handed over a business card.

I left that card on my table for a long while. Then, one day I picked it up and made a call to book my first Access Bars session. It was another choice, masquerading small at first but it was another big choice.

During the session, my facilitator asked me questions, many questions, unusual questions, which was refreshing as up until now everyone had been trying to solve my problems. It was challenging and liberating all at the same time.

And that's when I became aware.

I left the clinic two months later along with its zombie drugs and diagnosis. My head was clear. Thoughts of suicide and depression gone. I was different and knew that everything that I'd created before could be different now. I was done with the failed companies. My marriage was no longer kind or expansive for either of us. I knew, over time, I'd created a glitzy image of what a successful man was and it wasn't me. But awareness doesn't exclude and there were parts of my life I had enjoyed and was proud of. My son, photography and a great joy with travel. Clearly, though, it was time to cast off the trappings including the clothes I was expected to wear in that old role, to fit in and be what everyone else had decided was the right image, the right me, except ... it wasn't.

My mind drifted back to my Access Bars session and the first question she asked, 'Can you acknowledge that you create everything in your life, from the great success of it right through to the dramatic destruction of it?' She asked me to look at it all, not cognitively, but energetically.

I resisted that question. Of course I did. But I knew I'd created it all, including the depression and suicide attempts. I'd used those to try and break out of the miserable life I thought I was stuck in. I didn't know it then but, amazingly, that one question opened me up.

And yes, it was a tough process. And it was definitely not obvious, at first. And it took a lot of guts and vulnerability to admit it. My facilitator chuckled. She, said I was a grand and glorious creator and if I could create all of that in just two weeks, followed by months of pain, suffering and havoc, what else could I choose to create? That session was one of the most empowering I had ever experienced, lifting me out of being a victim to being the grand creator of it all!

It was the beginning of a new life, a different life.

I attended more Access Consciousness classes and even though I still had no money, I created those classes by taking pictures and videos that were required during those classes. I began using the wonderful, pragmatic tools of Access Consciousness with a childlike playfulness. It was as if I had been given a magic wand and could create anything I desired. I really worked that wand!

"The Universe has your back!"

I was asking for different things to show up in my life and the Universe was delivering. I learned I had to be willing to receive it all, no matter how it showed up.

One evening, walking home after dinner with some friends who had just returned from a luxurious holiday, I asked some really big questions,

“What will it take to start traveling again and to visit countries that I have never visited before? And what will it take to be able to do that with photography, sharing the brilliant tools of Access Consciousness and empowering photographers and other creatives to really choose what works for them, and to create something way greater than they could imagine, and something that would create way more ease and joy in their lives rather than living a life that was simply trying to make them fit into everyone else’s expectations, projections and judgments? Universe, please, show me the way and Universe, please, show me something magic!”

I kid you not, in less than a month I was head-hunted by Profoto, the world's largest photographic lighting company. They offered traveling the world, a very good salary, and working with photographers, empowering them to be more creative. I began traveling to far away places I'd only dreamed of visiting before

And that is how I turned my life around. And I have not stopped. I keep on asking for more and choosing to create the life I truly desire. It's not a journey with a defined goal, or an end. It's the exciting adventure of becoming more and more vulnerable, especially with myself, and discovering what truly works for me, even if it may appear completely crazy to everyone else. It's the great adventure of being alive on this beautiful planet!

So, here we are. You've read my story and now, I have some questions for you.

What can You create with the pragmatic tools of Access Consciousness? What can the simple choice of an Access Bars session contribute to You receiving way more in your life? How can I contribute to You creating something that maybe today you only consider an unachieavable dream?

What if I were a whisperer of the greater life you could create, and what if you acknowledged how different you are and the powerful, potent creator you truly be?

And how could I contribute to you through my Access X-Men classes?

The Access X-Men classes helped me acknowledge that everything that I was judging a wrongness of me was actually a strenght, basically a hidden super power. What hidden super powers of you could you unveil and explore?

I also have my own new Access Consciousness® Specialty class "Undefining Beauty" that uses the tools of Access Consciousness® as well as photography to facilitate change. As a professional photographer I discovered that photography can either be used as a weapon of judgement or as a tool of endless possibilities, I hope one day you too will be curious of exploring and discovering the possibilities that are available when we begin to remove all the judgement.

Are your curious, intrigued or excited about creating the life You truly desire that you have always known was available?

• • • Explore my upcoming classes and get a ticket
    • Contact me for a free introductory chat or,
    • Book a private session and explore what else is possible for you.

To watch some of my videos, get to know me a bit better and also see some of my photography, visit my website www.thebellusos.com/andrea

And here is a short video on how photography clearly shows that your point of view creates your reality... enjoy!