Mohnish Malhotra

Mohnish malhotra

Mohnish Malhotra is an energy worker, Ghost Whisperer, media influencer, chef & restaurant owner.

My question to you is - if you could change anything in your life, would you give it a chance once again?

You only fail if you stop trying. Failure is a conclusion; success is always work in progress.

 

It was going to be a continuation of living in misery or suicide. That is how my life was for many years. I didn't really believe there was a third option...

And this is how intense the feelings of suicide can be.

I studied linguistics and got trained in Public Relations and took that up as a career. I was supposedly doing well, getting more affluent and growing my sphere of influence in the city and country I lived in then. I also identify myself as gay, which was a criminal offence in India until the year 2018. In the year 2007, I also took up Equal Rights Activism and helped with that movement for over a decade, including starting the first LGBTQ pride March in New Delhi, India.

I thought people didn't understand me, and there was something wrong with me psychologically that was leading to suppressed anger inside. I felt worthless, isolated, and wrong in everything: it did not matter what I was doing; these were the predominant emotions.

Imagine in a country of more than a billion people, fearing your life every day for being gay and trying to match the standard of perfectionism and societal pressure.

The suppressed anger started turning into sadness, depression, labeled as many mental illnesses coupled with alcoholism, drug addiction. This pattern went for many years, and deep down inside, I had decided I would be all alone and die soon.

There were more than a few incidents that would have looked like accidents, where I was attempting suicide. I didn't want to leave a legacy and debt of shame for my loved ones as my departing inheritance.

I often wonder how many other people actually succeed in making it look like an accident?

The very last "incident" was an overdose of many things and a short circuit that had set my room on fire while I was asleep.

Unlucky as I was even this time, or not, I woke up with my bed on fire in the middle of the night. I thought to myself, am I in hell already? NO. I took care of the fire and went back to sleep in the living room.

That was the day I experienced how death feels like up close, and it was yet another rebirth with the awareness that killing myself was not going to solve my problems.

I remember I asked myself there has to be something else possible here.

Two days later, learned about a book called Being You, Talk To The Entities and Access Consciousness, a personal development modality.

I chose to learn more about this offering and give living another chance.

Everything is just an experience of the past; I never touched drugs again or needed to take any medication ever back.

I stopped feeling depressed or hearing imaginary thoughts, hallucinations, or having psychosis episodes for good.

It took me some more time to work on alcohol dependence, but that changed too.

Personal success was not enough for me, so I decided to talk more about suicide and the struggle with perfectionism.

Most importantly, I am very grateful to learn that I am just different, and Being me is the greatest joy that is available to me all the time. I no longer try to be someone else or fit into other people's definitions of perfectionism, what's right and what's not.

You can find me more about me on social media and the internet.

My perspective on different subjects has featured in: New York Times, Harpers Bazaar, CNN, The Telegraph, Ted Talks, national television networks, and several other platforms.

My question to you is - if you could change anything in your life, would you give it a chance once again?

You only fail if you stop trying. Failure is a conclusion; success is always work in progress.

Thank you

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